John Lackey needs to go to the bullpen, and I’m guessing the Cubs will notify the ornery pitcher of that just as soon as they find someone with a death wish. The technical baseball term for sending a sucker to confront him is “designated for assassination.”

I don’t want to make Lackey out to be Vlad the Impaler. But unless you have no regard for your personal well-being, you don’t want to be the bearer of bad news to the big right-hander. And by bad news, I mean telling him something like, “We’re out of 2 percent milk, so you’ll have to settle for 1 percent.”

Have you ever been stung by a jellyfish? Amateur hour. A paper cut. If Joe Maddon’s reaction to the mere idea of sending the cranky Lackey to the pen is any indication, coming into contact with thousands of microscopic lances filled with venom is a party by comparison.

You could almost hear the manager’s stomach churning when a recent conversation with reporters turned to the struggling Lackey and a possible new home in the bullpen.

‘‘Just to try to take him out of a game — and then try to tell him something like that?” Maddon said. “My …read more

Source:: Chicago Sun-Times – Sports

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